I heard we made out
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize