sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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