He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you win again, gameday.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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