Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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