Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
