bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
