God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
