I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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