His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
