Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
