i jhust puked up my retainher.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She's the barista slut.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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