Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You made out with two different species that night
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
