just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
