Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
