your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
