I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
