i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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