That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
