i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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