my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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