found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
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