im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
