i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You need Xanax blowdarts
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
