I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
