I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
