MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
