At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
