Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
