the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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