I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
