Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
