It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
