Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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