The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
