can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
