how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
