You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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