and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
