If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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