you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
