But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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