Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
