You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize