Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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