your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
