thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
