I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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