No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
