rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
