This girl is more easily done than said...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize