He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
