Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize