it was like his penis was on wheels.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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