i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
