it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
