Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
